The Morning After the After Party II

I dragged myself out of bed, quite literally, I rolled over and flailed my arms off the side of the bed until I felt something stable that I could use to pull myself out of bed. It was the dresser, actually just one of the drawers and all it really did was give the illusion of me pulling myself out of bed. The sound of the drawer hitting the popping out of the dresser and the jolt of the drawer falling and hitting the carpet was confirmation that I hadn't actually moved anywhere. But as a tactical simulation of getting out of bed it convinced me that it was indeed possible and there was little chance that I would actually die doing it. So to start I leaned the top half of my body out of bed and put both palms on the floor and let all the blood rush to my head. I remember thinking that this position is probably a yoga pose. Coincidentally it's also the pose I use when I'm puking out of bed into a bucket. The thought of having been unknowingly doing yoga for the last 20 years made me laugh to myself, which wasn't too bright considering half my digestive system was completely upside down and most of my blood was now pooling in my head. To avoid throwing up onto the carpet (and the clothes that had spilled out of the dresser drawer and my shoes/pants/shirt that were still next to the bed from last night) I pulled myself back up onto the bed rather quickly. The sensation of one minute having all your blood in your head and the next having no blood in your head was quite interesting. Good thing I was already laying down because I have no idea how long I was out. I decided to treat it like a band-aid, just pull, get it over with. I leapt to my feet and steadied myself on the wall next to the bed. That's when I became aware of the swarm of locusts in the room making that shrill noise that locusts make.